loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
