i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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