I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
