I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
