don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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