Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
