Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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