The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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