We're facebook friends in real life
Welp...herpes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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