Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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