Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
