At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
