I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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