i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
