they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
