New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
