I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
