just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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