Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
