Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
