is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
