Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
