dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
