"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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