Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
