i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
they call him Oral-B. enough said
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
