My friends, they love my intelligence
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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