one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he shaved USA in his pubs
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
