If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
