Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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