Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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