I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
