Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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