You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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