Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
