To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
