I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
