I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
