My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I did not marry a roomba.
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