i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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