Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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