good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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