I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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