no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
