apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
