hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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