Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
