He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
