I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
