Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
