1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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