Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
